WTF?

Today, I was getting on the elevator at work with a man who had a very sad, drawn face.

He wrapped up a conversation with a co-worker, and I overheard that he was concerned about a close family member who was recently diagnosed with a chronic disease. He stepped inside the elevator with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

It was a weight I recognized, as I had been in his shoes before.

“You know,” I said, unabashedly butting into his business. “My [loved one] was diagnosed with [specific disease] a few years ago, and is doing just fine. It’s completely manageable.”*

He gave me a sad smile, and the third occupant of the elevator spoke up.

“Oh yes,” she said. “My second cousin had that, too. She died, very slowly. [Description of horrible death.] It’s a horrible disease, and this is the worst place to live if you have it.”

His smile disappeared, and he stepped off the elevator.

I just stared at her, mouth agape. She cheerfully wished me a good day, and got off a floor before mine.

I’m still thinking about that encounter. What kind of person joyfully shares such a horrible, fear-affirming story? What was her endgame? Did she think she was helping? Is she oblivious to other people’s emotions, or just a bitch?

The more I think about her, the angrier I get at people–in general–who don’t consider the impact their words or actions will have on others.

St. Francis of Assisi summed up my own feelings on the matter pretty well:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

*Names and details omitted because I can’t quite let go of HIPAA regulations.

Missing underwear

A couple of years ago, we enrolled Bryce in the Santa Cruz Boys & Girls Club for the summer. He loved it, because it had a swimming pool. He’d spend about eight hours a day splashing around, happy as a clam.

It was a great summer, our last in Santa Cruz. We were on a cost-savings mission, so abandoned our clothes dryer in favor of a clothesline, and planted a vegetable patch. On any given weekend, I’d be hanging laundry out to dry while Matt puttered in the garden and Bryce played with the dog nearby.

One weekend, I was pulling clothes down and folding them when I realized something. I called Bryce over.

“Bryce, why do you only have two pairs of underwear? I thought I asked you to check your room.”

He stared at the ground, obviously uncomfortable.

“I did. I don’t have any more underwear.”

Confused, I did some quick mental calculations.

“But we bought you three fresh packs a few weeks ago. You should have at least 12 pairs of underwear.”

“I lost them.”

“You … wait, what? You LOST them? How do you lose your underwear?”

“I don’t know.”

All kinds of images flew threw my head, most of them based on episodes of “Law and Order: SVU.”

“Bryce, WHEN ARE YOU TAKING OFF YOUR UNDERWEAR OUTSIDE OF OUR HOUSE?”

Then, a brightly colored pair of swim trunks flapping in the breeze caught my eye, and I understood: the swimming pool. The following Monday, as I dropped him off, I checked in with the front desk staff.

“This is awkward, but have you found any boys underwear in the locker room?” I explained the situation at home, and the staff member nodded sagely.

“We find underwear all the time. We throw it away.”

That evening, armed with several new packages of Hanes, we had a family discussion I had never anticipated having. Ever.

How NOT to lose your underwear in public places.

This just happened

I swear to God, this just happened.

I’m watching “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2,” and weeping like a baby. So I brought my sweet little Kelpie dog, Lulu, onto the couch to snuggle with me for comfort. She was turning around, pushing pillows out of the way and getting generally comfortable … until (SPOILER ALERT) Harry snaps the Elder Wand–the most powerful wand in the world–in half and tosses it over the bridge at Hogswart.

At that precise moment, Lulu’s attention snapped to the television screen, doggy mouth agape.

I know she’s just a dog, but I swear she was judging Harry.

“WHAT?! It’s the ELDER WAND! Idiot.”

Of course, everyone who knows Lulu knows that she’d be sorted into Slytherin, so I guess that’s no surprise.

What next?

This is the afghan I'm working on. But it's not MY afghan. Thanks, Internet!

Now that I’ve done the sugar challenge that I was convinced I couldn’t do in the first place, I’m wondering what’s next.

I’m in the middle of knitting another afghan, so that’s fun and crafty. Along that line, I’m also working on turning a salvage-yard window into a magnetic chalkboard. Then there’s the gorgeous dresser I found that needs to be stripped and repainted.

Thanksgiving is coming up, so I’ll get to do a lot of baking.

That just leaves my physical health. Giving up refined sugar (after the Halloween candy is out of my house, I’ll be back on track there) was a great start. I don’t eat a lot of over-processed food, but I do enjoy carbs, red meat, dairy, etc. But I’m pretty OK with the food I eat.

That just leaves one area that needs tweaking: Exercise.

Here are some examples of my opportunities, and the excuses I’ve come up with:

1. I live a couple blocks from a gorgeous, 15-mile public trail. Plus, my dogs need to be walked.
   But it’s dark outside when I wake up; I only have about an hour or two of daylight when I get home and that’s spent with my husband, who is asleep by 7 p.m. because of work; after that it’s dark again.
2. I have a small gym AT MY WORK. That I can use anytime.
   I always forget my gym bag. It’s gross to work out in the middle of the day … I’d have to bring my makeup and a hair dryer. After work is when I see Matt, I don’t want to cut down on that time.
3. I live in Washington State, home of mountains and hiking trails. And you know how much I love trail running.
   Yes, but the only time I can do that is the weekends. When else am I supposed to relax?
4. I can buy an elliptical trainer or  treadmill and put it in my basement in front of the giant TV.  Then, instead of sitting and watching TV, I could be exercising and watching TV.
   Too expensive.
5. There’s a gym a mile away from my house that I could join for $10/month, and go after Matt goes to bed.
   But would I?

I’m working on it. I’m only sure about one thing: No more marathons.

30 days later …

It’s been 30 days.

30 days of actively trying to avoid sugar. Sure, I fell down here and there, but thought I’d share my overall thoughts on the adventure.

I avoided sugar and coffee drinks during the entirety of the challenge. I’ve been drinking only water (sometimes with a chamomile and passionflower herbal supplement) and tea.

I love it. I still crave sugary sodas, but love a cool glass of icewater. In fact, I spent some time roaming the internet, checking to see if it was possible to get a countertop ice-and-water dispenser like we have at work. Turns out it’s cost-prohibitive.  Next step? Driving through McDonald’s and asking them if I could get a large icewater. I wonder if they’ll charge me …

I did NOT avoid all sugar. There was a week in there while I was traveling, and I enjoyed some cookies and a couple desserts. But it was one week, and the sugary snacking was limited to a short time after work, and a dessert or two. That’s a far cry from sugary breakfast, a cookie after lunch, some candies to perk me up during the day, a couple marshmallows to snack on while making dinner, and a bowl of cereal for dessert before bed.

I have much more energy during the day. That energy lasts from when I wake up to when it’s time to go to bed. I got a chance to see a Broadway show after work Friday in Seattle, and I didn’t get home until 2 a.m. I didn’t even need a coffee to stay awake!

Some health issues I’ve been dealing with have “miraculously” cleared up during this challenge. I won’t go into detail on those, except to tell you to consider dramatically limiting your sugar intake if you suffer from digestive issues!

My skin looks better.

I may even have lost a little weight. A very little, but I’m pretty sure I’m gaining momentum in the right direction. And I’m not even trying to diet!

My cravings for sugar are far, far less. To illustrate, I’ll share this amazing fact: I’ve had Halloween candy in my house for three days. It’s just sitting there in bowls, waiting for trick-or-treaters. I haven’t had any of it. Even more remarkably, it doesn’t even look appealing.

That’s not to say that I’ve gone off the rails completely. I made red velvet cake pops for a Halloween potluck at work, and licked the batter off the spoon (some icing, too!). When covering them in white chocolate, I certainly snuck a few tastes.

Hey, I’m not dead.

But that was it. I ate one cake pop myself, and packaged the rest for work. Then I made some fresh fruit kebobs, knowing that I’d prefer those to much on during the potluck … along with some goodies.

This isn’t over for me. It’s not a 30-day challenge, it’s a lifestyle change I’m excited to keep moving forward on. Over the weekend, I bought two thing: a salted caramel mocha from Starbucks, and a bag of wheatberry-quinoia-almond-cranberry mix from Costco.

The mocha was a dud. Too thick and sugary, I couldn’t pick out any flavors at all. I took a few sips and handed it over to Matt.

The health-nut cereal (seriously, wheatberry, quinoia, almond and cranberry were the only ingredients! No added sugars, preservatives, etc.!) was fabulous. I had a bowl for breakfast, spiked with a little honey. It was like the World’s Greatest Oatmeal.

So no, I’m not done. No, I’m not using it as a diet.

It just feels right.

Sugar creeps in …

Worth it!

I’ve had a busy couple weeks.

Last week I was traveling for business all week.

The week before, I was sick.

Neither of those circumstances, as it turns out, is helpful to trying to maintain a healthy outlook on food. But both were vital in helping me to understand certain truths about the foods I eat.

While sick, I ate a lot of soup and drank a lot of juice. I craved muffins, so I indulged in one per day. I found that those indulgences helped me sleep and feel a bit better. Who knows why?

Between being sick and traveling, there was no cooking in my house. One night we got takeout fried chicken, mashed potatoes and desserts from a local fast-food restaurant. I ate about 1/4 of the dessert I’d normally eat, and felt fine the next day. Another night, we went to our favorite Indian food buffet, and I thoroughly enjoyed my favorite butter chicken and tikka masala, and only indulged in a spoonful of the rice pudding (YUM) and had one of those donut holes soaked in syrup. It was great walking out of the restaurant feeling full and satisfied, instead of stuffed and sluggish.

I had to stop by Cost Plus World Market to pick up a few things for a Halloween package for my stepson, and that’s where things started unraveling. I grabbed a couple impulse treats for the airplane: A small bag of Dutch caramel wafter cookies, and a travel tube of German biscuit cookies with a chocolate filling. Neither were too sweet, but both were cookies.

They were gone after the first of four nights in the hotel.

With the rationalization that I didn’t have my usual stockpile of nuts, fruit and other sugar- and carb-free snacks on hand, I “happened” to pop into another Cost Plus and pick up some more treats. While I love to eat cookies and read in hotel beds, it turned into a bad combination.

I was also heading out to dinner every night; and had delicious Italian food two of four evenings. (Guys, the owner was actually Italian! I had to!) Lots of bread, potato dumplings, cream sauces, goopy mozzarella and cannoli. I became progressively sluggish and hungover as the week went on. I noticed a difference in how I felt in the morning (tired, with a massive headache), how I felt in the afternoons (acid reflux) and in the evenings (upset stomach).

So after returning home, I weaned myself off sugar again. It’s Monday, and I’m enjoying a morning smoothie (berries, banana, a couple ounces of plain Greek yogurt and about a half-cup of orange juice) and have a lunch packed with nuts, hummus, fresh fruit and almond butter.

I feel good about getting back on track. This is a lifestyle choice I want to continue beyond Oct. 30, so I’m choosing not to stress too much about my off-track week. It was a good learning experience.

And those cannoli were worth it. All of it.

Explaination

The only thing that got me through the past two days.

Look, I was sick, OK?

Two g*dd*mn muffins took me from a sniffling, wheezing mess to a content, sleepy one.

I ate them, and I’m not sorry!

(I am, however, sorry about the three cookies I ate last night. Those were unnecessary and made me feel sluggish and bloated.)

I am proud that I didn’t cave and eat any of the other comfort foods we have around the house, even though they looked pretty good! I successfully avoided all the Ring Dings, granola bars, chocolate-covered whatsits and other Lil’ Debbie snack cakes.

But I did eat the muffins.

I was sick.

Get off my back!

(It’s super hard to be totally sugar-free when you’re sick. Your tastebuds don’t work, and nothing is good. Therefore, you don’t want to eat. So you’re woozy from DayQuil all the time. I am enjoying being off sugar for the most part, but definitely need to find substitutes for some of my favorite comfort foods. Nuts and berries just don’t always to the job.)